Tour d' Midwest

As July wraps up (way too quickly!), I am currently home in Wisconsin for two weeks spending time with friends and family before I depart. Let me back up a week or so to July 16.

What a busy day! I woke up, went for a run in my neighborhood, made some telephone calls to change addresses and pay bills, sold the remainder of my big furniture (bed, nightstand, mirror, coffee table, lamps, TV, DVD player),

called Verizon and canceled my service as of Aug. 11 and had them unlock my phone (I THINK I can take my Iphone 4s with me and buy a local SIM card once in UAE), had lunch with some friends at Green,

 

got proof of employment by my school district, moved all of my remaining items and clothes up to my parents' condo, bought two suitcases (the biggest I could find!),

 

 

then returned to my guesthouse to clean (finished around 8:30) and headed back (again) to North Scottsdale and the condo to pack one of my gigantic suitcases for my two-week visit to Wisconsin.

After a 3:30 a.m. wake-up call, my friend Derek dropped me at Sky Harbor and I was on my way!

 

 

I spent my flight daydreaming. Thinking of all the people I was going to get to see and all those that I would have to say goodbye for now to. I had hopes to see all of my college roommates, a few people from Watertown, spend some quality time with my parents, go to my dad's family reunion, road trip down to Chicago, brunch with some high school girl friends and see my grandparents.

 

Landing in Milwaukee, I was picked up my friends Annie and Lindsey and got to meet Annie and Joel's new baby, Maggie. I spent the next two days with my Milwaukee-based college roommates (Lindsey, Beth, Annie, Angie, Dana and Kirby), staying with Annie and Joel. So wonderful to see my oldest and truest friends (and Kirby, who surprised all of us by driving down from Pulaski!) -- some of whom are now moms! So different from our nights out in La Crosse, but ladies, you are meant to be doing what you're doing now :) I am so proud of you and happy for this new chapter in your lives!

 

 

On Friday morning, Annie dropped me off in Oconomowoc and my mom scooped me up (first time seeing her since being home!) and we drove north to Sparta/Norwalk for my dad's family reunion. These reunions happen once every three years and it was the perfect opportunity to see and catch up with my grandma, uncles and cousins that I don't get to see often. In addition to eating fresh lobster tails, corn on the cob and pork from a pig on the farm (shot by my dad)! The Warriner cousins got involved in a heated volleyball tournament against the Flock family (another vein of family from one of my grandma's sisters), but lost in game three :(

 

 

During the nights this weekend, I drove into Onalaska to stay with Emilee, Mike and their son, Calvin and got to see Skye as well (two more college roommates). We were doubling over from laughter Friday night ... it felt good to let loose with people who know me so well!

Sunday morning I drove from Onalaska to Viroqua to visit my last college roomie, Chrissi, her husband, Duane and their son, Bronson. Went on a five-mile death run in the hilly countryside with the marathon sprinter : / I think I tripped on her dog, Elvis, half the way and died along the last half, and had to be brought back to life by Chrissi. Lol.

 

Finally, Monday evening, I made my way back to Watertown and had a yummy home-cooked meal with my mom and my dad. It felt different driving up to their house this time. Connected and detached at the same time. But good to be home :)

The next day I went to lunch with my parents and the young man and his wife (friend of the family) who is slowly but surely taking over my dad's business and I bumped into a high school friend on Main Street, who now has step-kids and is expecting his own this fall. I swear, Watertown is a time machine. You never know WHO you're going to run into! My mom and I went past my elementary school and got someone to let us in and tour. Douglas is completely different, I barely recognized it. With all places I have been before, I subconsciously take my mind back to when I was there before and look at the place with a new perspective. Being in that building catapulted me back into time, more than 20 years since I started kindergarten there. I touched everything, opened lockers (so small!), bent down (severely) to get a drink at the bubbler, and traced my hands over the cement blocks on the walls...thinking to myself that my six-year-old self may have touched that same spot. And then of course, my mind went to Brunson-Lee and my kids. And how much I still miss them. They start school on Monday already!

That night, I met up with a friend that went through Douglas with me, for his 30th birthday! Talk about warping quickly from one end of my life to another!

Yesterday, I got to catch up with Nick's mom for lunch in Sun Prairie -- we went to The Cannery (the restaurant I worked at part-time while working for The Star) more than five years ago. I saw one person who was there when I was and he said no one else still worked there. Food was great, weather was beautiful (we sat outside) and conversation flowed easily.

That night, I drove to Pewaukee to meet up with Annie (Joel and Maggie), Dana (Jesse), Lindsey (Brett), and Angie (Matt) at Angie and Matt's house for dinner/drinks/goodbyes. I was reminded, how, no matter how far I travel and for whatever amount of time, this group of friends are always in my corner. Supportive, loyal and always, always only a phone call away. I am so lucky.

I will be in Chicago tomorrow night catching up with my friend Joel and Jill/Toby (Harris and Finn), then seeing Shannon (Pat and baby Mayson) on Saturday, having brunch with some high school girl friends Sunday, and seeing my grandparents. The rest of the time will be spent with my mom and dad.

Time has never flown so fast!

Pieces and parts

I have been purposefully avoiding my blog.

I feel like my body and mind are being ripped in two directions, neither of which I am truly a part of anymore/yet. I feel like I'm floating in this tank of water, facing East, with no land in sight, with the direction only to swim away from the chunk of land in the West that I jumped off of, and now can't see anymore either.

You know where I am?? I'm Pi in that boat. In the middle of the ocean. Alone (except with my tiger -- a handful of las personas muy importante para me). With no direction. Stripped of almost all my belongings. I feel vulnerable. I feel scared. I feel crazy. I feel exhilarated. I feel brave. I feel sad. I feel certain. Perhaps I can liken it being lost in a foreign city and needing to remind myself to go into survival mode instead of panic mode.

It is in moments like these that I know character is defined and strengthened and courage grows. And I can feel all three happening to me now, but I also feel a woodpecker irritatingly tapping away at my courage and strength boxes, Morse-Coding the message, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?!"

"No!" I feel like screaming. I don't. I really don't. I am taking a huge chance. Leaving things/people behind that I would rather not, hopeful that my life will work out the way I see it in my head. Or a adventure-filled version, at least. I would really like to flick that woodpecker into next week with all ten of my fingers. :)

It is July 15. 10:44 p.m. My last night in my cozy guest cottage in the Willo neighborhood of central Phoenix.

(Sigh) I can't.

So much has happened outwardly in my world since I  last wrote, and a million more things have been transpiring mentally.

Where to begin? Seriously. Where?

I have sold most of my furniture (I am sleeping on an air mattress right now), have had to say a more-than-difficult goodbye, and am forced to say farewell tomorrow to a neighborhood in a city that has been transformative for me this past year.

I got an e-mail from Alison on the 12th detailing my departure dates of sometime during the Aug. 9-15 timeframe. She included a PPT of information about common questions that are asked during this time of the process (such as: what kind of school supplies should I be packing? Do I need to get vaccinations before leaving the country?) and two forms that need to be submitted by the 20th. One of which is basically a form detailing all the possible ways I could harmed or die while living abroad and Footprints is not responsible for any of them moving forward. That was a fun one to initial.

I feel like I've got things sort of under control, but as I lay here thinking about what I need to get done in a slim window, despite my better judgment of staying cool, calm and collected ... I'm starting to panic.

I have one more day, tomorrow, to do the following: jog in my neighborhood for a final time (ugh, so sad); go through my mail and pay credit card and medical bills; call institutions and change my address with them; scan workbooks onto a flash drive; call Verizon and terminate service as of Aug. 11 and have them unlock my phone; schedule a visit with Mazda for Aug. 1 to see if they will buy my car out of my current lease; meet up with my friend who is buying my copier/scanner at 10 a.m.; have lunch with two friends at Green at 11; move all remaining personal items out of guest cottage and into my parents' condo; clean guest cottage; buy two suitcases that fulfill Etihad's dimensions/weight restrictions; and pack for Wisconsin.

Wednesday morning at 6 a.m. (WHAT was I thinking?!) I fly out of the valley and into Milwaukee for a two-week farewell tour of the people that I love there. I know that this trek will be memorable, and filled to the brim with laughter and tears. I know that when I return to Phoenix on July 31, I will have a week, maybe two to be a resident of the United States. I know that I will have to start arranging final visits with my friends here, stop by Brunson-Lee one final time (as school will be back in session already) to see my kids. I know I will continue to miss weddings, babies being born, celebrations, graduations. This is a sacrifice that I made, when I signed my letter of offer back in April -- when this opportunity seemed so far off and exotic.

Everything feels so final. And I hate that word. Or I have begun to hate it. I also do not enjoy using the phrase, "goodbye" because it feels so final. So two words with meanings that are not agreeable to me. Humph.

It's not final though. Barring I don't fall into some bad health or dangerous situation over there, I will see all of these people that I love again. Some only when I return to US soil, others on UAE soil, and still others or some of the same on other foreign soil. But, I have to say, with one very difficult 'see-you-later' under my belt (MMbb), that it is a conscious thought stream that needs to repeated hourly, or my brain automatically goes to the final compartment.

Someone told me today to not look back, even though I may feel sad/conflicted. He said that this is all part of the process. I know he's right ... and maybe ... maybe I just need to focus on how lucky I am to have so many people in my life that make this farewell process a difficult one instead of the sadness that blurs the edges.

Lighter

I have:
...boxed items for storage;
...given away, sold and donated clothing, books and DVD's;
...imported CD's onto my laptop;
...sold education textbooks online;
...throw armloads of "stuff" away;
...listed furniture for sale on Craig's list;
...scanned workbooks onto my laptop;
...determined that Verizon's service plans do not reach Abu Dhabi :(

I need to:
...buy Buffalo router, Roku, magic jack, adapters;
...figure out how to use my Iphone 4S in the Middle East;
...buy luggage;
...finish selling furniture;
...address paying bills electronically from overseas;
...determine easiest way to transfer car lease over to parents as of November.

I think that's all I'm going to try to tackle before leaving -- flying by the seat for the rest of it.

*covers face and hopes for the best!*